He doesnt pay his child support of 17 dollars a week, yet shows up at house with brand new shoes on his feet and new clothes on his body. I was in the same situation. I have spent hours on my knees crying out to God and he has been merciful. Hey there all. In a way i feel the same way. Our two children were grown up and no longer living at home having started their own lives which made me feel even less needed or important in my wife life. Been engaged for the last 6 years and my fianc kind of held off getting married for some time. I do not work with but I still make sure everyone in well off. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. Hi.im married to my husband forfor 4 years.i made more money than him.I stuck by him through his madness.Drinking and drugging.He never went for help.I always felt he was doing what he wanted because he just wanted to.I cared for him too much.I let my guard down.He now has a better job and only four months being employed,he says we have nothing in common, we should be friends.He not used to anything.Now he gets another chance of living a better life, hes gone.All he did was lie to me . I was with my ex wife for 18 years 13 of marriage. I met a woman on-line and its going great but it is long distance Its been hard. My mum passed away suddenly in July 2014. How to Get Your Husband Back after He Leaves You I realize this only after they no longer appear. Im heartbroken and crushed and cant stop thinking about her. I am doing my best to just not communicate with him. I have now lost my wife, my best friend and my confidant. this time it was litteraly out of nowhere nobody seen it coming and on his days off which were just this week he flew to where she lives in calgary (we live in BC) to spend days off with her. Just focus on those kids and how you can better yourself for them and you. He wont explain this behavior and blames me, acts like he hates me and just has to get our because he cant stand me all of a sudden . He is not the man I have been with for the last 15 years then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. I found out that my wife had been backstabbing me with everyone she was close to. Just before our 26th wedding anniversary my wife told me she no longer wanted to be in a relationship. I will never get over this, I am hurting so much. Hi Kelly, how are you doing these days? They feed off your emotions , reel you in with false promises then get off with pumped up ego when you crumble -thinking you couldnt possibly live without their superior super human selves. I know it may seem a bit weird but I stumbled upon this site just the same way. Spousal abandonment, when one person leaves without warning, doesnt mean youre doomed to live in a perpetual state of bewilderment and grief. I haven't eaten or slept roperly in 2 weeks. I dont know what to do. Maybe once I can accept that then Ill start to move on, at least from crying and feeling like I cant and dont want to even get out of bed. Refuses to consider the possibility that if she actually wanted this back she would have to at least remove 100% every single reminder to me, just like she did for him when she moved him into my bed so quick Im sure he still smelt my farts lol. I stopped for a quart of ice cream on my way home from work today, ugh. My friend has not moved forward with a separation agreement, or any movement with her husband in that way. He is indicating he has no power to change; you have all the power. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. She went off to Arizona to stay with friends and get away from me. I had to call her mom today and asked her if she could grab my work shirts and she finally calls annoyed I got her mom involved and tells me to just come over after work. What determines a family in 2019? Then quite quickly our arguments started becoming more fatal & terminal. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. As the weeks turn into Month I am beginnning to think it was for the best. I have had to monitor her medication intake and times for years to ensure her safety (on her request). Its so weird! Big or small That aside Ive been really good to her and treating her as if I just met her but that has not resonated with her. Take care Don. I have found pills over and over hidden in her car before she totaled it . And who are the casualties in all this? For him to leave like that in the middle of the night tells me that he is very immature! I just want to say to everybody whos experienced this, I feel for you, I love you with all my heart and know youre not alone, and that there are people who really care. I dont know what to do.I know that i need companionship.I cant go through life alone.I miss her so much. We didnt argue, had some physical relations which I thought meant she was bisexual. Soon, I reverted back to what I was doing to prior to the attempt to get pleasure. But a committed couple can overcome any of these 5 reason and much more. My ex husband did the same thing I tried everything and nothing. She chose some other dude. But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. I think thats why Im just waiting for him to call or come back, like he will realize he made a mistake. And the holidays are almost here, I know Im not going to feel better by then, so that has me down also since Ill be all alone for the first time through that. Rather than an excess of painful emotion, it was the lack of pain, the lack of feeling, that was the . I have been with my husband for 14 years.13 of them married. 1. Husband suffeing depression has left me - netmums.com I dont get it for you either. I am so truly heartbroken. Or when it is convenient. They say that telling someone you love them is one thing, but showing them is something else. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. I found out last Friday (after him denying it over and over) that he is having an affair. So, basically this proves to me she was using me for some time, which (while devastating perhaps) allows me to at least be thankful she isnt, and cant anymore. Sort the legal separation stuff and you can do a divorce online for free. Comfort and Healing After Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman I feel like he used me when I was making a lot and now that he has to provide he packs and leave. In terms of what I did, I was blind and did not see the signs. I cried for you. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. 6. Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another. Please help I feel like Im drowning and dont know how to protect my kids from the pain they will feel, I feel horrible for you, this is going to be a very hard time but youre going to have to focus on the kids. And he had started the attitude of battering , after unsuccessful attempts to control the situation, I reported to his mother and that worsen the situation. You are dead to me as I am to you so lets not resurrect the dead. I cant know what went wrong. Sex left the building and life really took over and the issue of lack of intimacy would come up always from her as to why how come we never have sex anymore and then over more time, and even after attending marriage counselling together it never did get resolved. I have had 15 yrs of therapy along with institutional treatment, CBT, outpatient care thousands of AA Meetings and lots of retreats. To this day I am sure she placed them there knowing I was coming. Eric, was the suicide a result of his relationship troubles with your ex? My Dad is strong, and my Mother is even stronger. I wish you all the best finding the new you and someone who loves you for who you really are!! I just dont understand any of it and feel so hopeless. I lost everything, my marriage, my home, my family, my friends, my belongings my routine.I had just finished my career in the Army 27 years. No way! I Think My Husband is Depressed - Can I Save My Marriage? Encouraging someone to move on because they have lost the spark seems simplistic and almost dangerous. all by yourself. How do I keep my self-esteem high when Im going through this? I in turn joined a gym and got into shape and worked on the house The message is so strong and clear when there is infidelity . Wow great article. He needs space to find himself. Live in new Jersey have 4 kids. ..I believe my husband has a similar condition. He was my best friend, and had promised we could co-parent., My childs father was leaving me. I try to tell her shes embarrassing herself my kids and me with her behavior but she doesnt care. I never was, I dont get it. All those pieces coming together the texts, the absences on an affair. I received my divorce and was devastated by my helpless circumstance. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. 3. He has three kids I have two. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? No point in keeping contact with me. My prayers are for you but know that the pain will subside with time. We are separated now for 6 months. Six months that I have been experiencing the utmost happiness, while also experiencing the most gut-wrenching guilt. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. It doesnt take much, all it takes is a little time and effort to help you get through this hard time. Then we came home talked more and again neither of us made a move towards the other. She seemed to be in conflict with herself yet on my level entirely. I'm not lonely or struggling with my daily tasks. Well I went deer hunting with our son and had left her at the house with our daughter which was in 7 th grade at the time. WHY?????? We got a house then tried for another baby. We spoke daily our entire relationship and had never even apart more than a few days. There is real evil in the world you are absolutely correct. Warning Signs Of Dog Depression | Is My Dog Depressed? - Cesar's Way How can I do it? Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. This was like reading my exact situation of 3 years with a narrsastic man! My husband thinks he has depression and has left me. | Mumsnet One thing I am scared of is that my heart as sensible to all the facts as is it is not closed towards him. A few days ago out of the blue he said he wants to split up. Trying to figure out why your partner left you can become the bane of your existence. Get on yur knees & Let him fight your battles. The most difficult is the roommate or as you noted, sibling-like Relationship. My doctors didnt know how to help me. A 2009 study found women living with life threatening illnesses were more likely than others to experience spousal abandonment. It will get better. You should have enough self-control and enough respect for your partner to not even go there. My wife did not return home from work last friday (now tuesday), my son nor i have heard from her since despite numerous texting, although she has told 2 other people she is ok, these people are strangers to me, I only found out via a third party. Thanks i also have a lot of trouble because i want him back and love him very much. I received deployment orders to head to Africa for a rapid response unit to help combat the Ebola virus and contain it by building ETU facilities. You have to understand that this is a painful process, and its going to take time. Her dad used to financially bail her out and her mum often was overbearing and smothered her. Things werent perfect between us for about a year, but after Christmas, I thought things had been going ok. We applied for a mortgage and it was in those weeks waiting for approval that he made the decision to leave, in early February 2017. Well the doctor she was working with was giving her Vicodin, and soma, she also was getting zanax and other pills from doctor. My husband had a very bad anger issue as well actually. Of course Im sad. I just want her back.. My husband left me about 19 years ago we were best friends for some years but when we got married he walked out on me I had broken my leg and was using cruches to get around he left me when I needed him the most I dont know why he left me he never tried to find me to explain hisself or why he did what he did nothing bad happened between us I cant seem to get pass this I think about what he did to me everyday and nite for the past 19 years I have been emotionaly upset over this and dont know what to do i just want answers. Read what happens when a) they loose their job. Hes decided to go and although there will be a lot for me to work through I truly think itll be the best thing. Jackie I feel your pain as you know my situation. it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? But some marriages can survive infidelity. My divorce is in two weeks. I filed. It is really hard. I dont know my wife anymore. Now 17 months later he leave us. He now comes home one day a week and a little on the weekends. He is trying to get your attention before he completely gives up. Please know that help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. We had a good but quiet weekend. I would cry all night just waiting for a hug. Yup its called life. Respect for you and the marriage: The narcissist will side with others against you, talk behind your back about you, and all the while smile like a Cheshire cat at you. Believe me evil exists in the world I will pray that you will never experience this great of an evil, but you will experience some evil. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? She was slurring her speech and dragging her shoulder on the wallls in front of our kids from the beginning of all of this. Part of the reason was because he was working too much and I was left to take care of the children while dealing with my emotional issues. He finally said that he had met someone but that this person had nothing to do his decision was made. 7 Things You Should Never Expect From a Narcissistic Husband He obviously had no intentions of returning. My parents passed last year, her mother has been on her death bed and abusive to my wife as she takes care of her. The important thing here is that you find someone who can make you feel good again. I have a personality disorder and I know from info I have from my psychiatrist, John Hopkins U and the Mayo Clinic to name a few that personality disorders do have a genetic component. That stayed off the booze with your love and support then started to lie and drink because theyre bipolar. You dont have to be with them forever and ever, but they can help you through this time of your life. Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. And if you cant forgive him, it might be time for you to walk away from this relationship completely because this isnt a good place for anyone to be in. Hes 52 years old.its been 2 months of separation. emails me talks to me like these things happen. No debt and no issues in life. They then make efforts to reel you in again ! Do you talk to her parents? It was considered marital money. In January the kids want nothing to do with her because of the lies she has been telling plus my brother and his wife took her side, I just wanted them to be on the kids side. Im truly heartbroken. I cry every night of the pain I feel. Then he told me he wasnt leaving anymore he chose me because I love him so much Im so confused I dont know what to do CUs know I cant trust him or if he decides to do it again. Part of me thinks shes simply selfish and refuses to work out our problems. Hey guys:) go to church! A year goes by with random visits whenever she felt like having a full on break which was always on the weekends when she could go out and party. I met my wife when I was 18 and she was 16. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. Ive just found out hes been messaging an ex alot but swears only messaging. Then evil sets in. Families dont have to be mother, father, children. All part of the manipulation. Lately he has been sleeping in the spare room, leaves in the morning to visit his parents, comes back and then blames me saying that he dosent want to be around someone miserable. Two still reside with us. She is a realtor. Hi Robert! Please help? Blog. I also lost my mother nine months ago. Instead of moving on and doing whats best for themselves, they take out all their anger and sadness on anyone who will listen to them. I have been married for 27 years and we dated for 4 years. I also was finding 100 S of dollars in her car over and over and over with the pills. I dont have friends that I can confide in, I dont have family to talk to. This just happened 4weeks ago. Then there is the one thats left out. When someone walks away from u let them walk ur destiny was never tied to anyone that left. Im so sorry to read this (and other) stories. I do, and I dont. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112. F course he blames me.Im hurt , all of my bills are on me.He wont give me any money..hes a heartless man. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time; our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext. I am in shock. Slept in the living room the last 3 nights because he fell asleep out there. That was not even all my husband and his girlfriend did. If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. I will pray for you and just take it one day at a time and get up everyday with a plan Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. She lied and broke my heart. Samantha is 30 years old, looks 3 years younger. My experience has taught me that you can only rely on one person in this world to love you unconditionally and that is Jesus. Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. Hardly functioning, feeling helpless. I picture my husband alone in his home. As I said I honestly never intended this and I also didnt realize she was hurt as she tends to respond emotionally to most things We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, I have been married for 6 1/2 years and now i want to leave my husband. Hope things are looking up for you. Dont believe it. She and I know the marriage was no longer a marriage and to carry on would be a sham. I realize you don't know me. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. So it is tough to swallow. Saving the relationship when youre the only one trying is tough but it doesnt always mean your relationship should be scrapped. Both knows the situation, though the comfort factor, causes them to remain in this loop until something shakes it up. She told our three kids she was leaving before I got back from extended combat training at joint base dix. The correct answer is not to say I dont want to be around someone miserable. Im not comparing my experience, but evil is evil no matter what level it is onAgain Thanks for your response. It appears the more you try, the more you are rejected. Without her, I would not be here to tell this story., Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. I dont know how this pain is ever going to go away. Obviously, you wanted to marry him/her and you knew that marriage was tough. I just dont want to give up because I feel like she is my other half I feel like she is the only one for me.. She has quite a few friends and is self reliant. My therapist said I may never get an answer and for my black-and-white brain is a little difficult. Not sure I have the strength to recover.. Its awful. She misses hosting family gatherings, although she still attends them at her husbands house. Weve only been married for the last 19 months. Im so devistated, He wants to relax all day and live the life of a boy. I ate a chocolate mousse cake not that long ago! I get my kids every weekend and the time always flies by. My only piece of wisdom from this whole scenario is that I have a Christian faith and it has really been keeping me sane by praying. Im sorry you have to go thru this..now what you must do is have No Contact with him no phone,txts,social media NOTHING if its about the kids short & sweet only about the kids no matter what this will allow him to think about the things he has done & yourself to think about the things youve allowed dont be so hard on yourself I know Im going through it now but you must get your life in order for not yourself because the kids will eventually suffer behind this & trust me the thing with the other woman will not last.take care. Hate is a strong word but I think I do hate het for all the evil things she has done to me and our kids. I stuck with him and eventually the drinking did become better however I had difficulty fully trusting him after the first infidelity about two years in to our marriage. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. What Nobody Tells You About the Dark Side of Weight Loss - Healthline We had some issues but always thought we would work them out. 3. I am disabled and have unique issues that cause stroke like symptoms and memory issues. Take care. Sometimes when a person leaves, they are unhappy not because they dont love you, but because they are hiding something. This happens slowly and mysteriously until, one day, there are no common interests and someone gets bored and wants to move on. As a result I decided to leave it as is and work on me, my kids and try to keep my lovely baby growing inside me as healthy and happy as possible. Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . The hits keep coming. I was unemployed a year after leaving the Army due to a medical retirement. Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye - Healthline I guess Im in the shock phase right now.
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